T O U C H É !   Cartoons

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Looking for a Band Name?
You can use one of my creations...just credit the source please and let me know! Contact me-I can make up some good ones.
Jet Gag
Why So Wet
Polly Wanna Saccharide?
Check, Please!
Suit Fruitcase
Pancake for Cookie
Smoked Out Trout (dedicated to my smoked fish friend Kalena)
Everyone Loves a Train Wreck
Check Her I.D. (or you can get cutesy and spell it Checker I.D.)
Bill Something

Think something should be noted? e-mail your idea. Play nice-no spam!

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Things That Make You Smile:

Bumper Stickers
"My cat is smarter than your honor student."

 "My dog is smarter than your politician."

"Support your local hospital. Play Hockey."

Denver panhandler's sign:
"Wife left with best friend. Need money for thank you note."

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Funny Bits:
WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED & Men Are Just Happier People--
Your last name stays put.
 The garage is all yours.
 Wedding plans take care of themselves.
 Chocolate is just another snack.  
 You can never be pregnant.
 Car mechanics tell you the truth.
 The world is your urinal.
 You never have to drive to another petrol station restroom because this one is just too icky.
 You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
 Same work, more pay.
 Wrinkles add character.
 People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
 New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
 One mood all the time.
 Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
 You know stuff about tanks and engines.
 A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
 You can open all your own jars.
 You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
 Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
 Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
 You never have strap problems in public.
 You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
 Everything on your face stays its original colour.
 The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
 You only have to shave your face and neck.
 You can play with toys all your life.
 One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons.
 You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
 You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
 You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
 You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
 No wonder men are happier.
 
 -source: e-mail/global web circulation (perhaps a slightly bitter British woman? colour & petrol reference)
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Well, her name is Little Miss new in town 
She said I need someone to show me around 
I said what the hell 
She looked innocent as far as I could tell 

She said I’m all alone and come up into my room 
And I’ll show you pictures of me and my favorite band 
She said uh oh uh oh here they come 
Uh oh uh oh here they come 
Uh oh uh oh here they come 
Better run 
Better run 
Better run 

I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
She makes me happy 

It’s another day and another cut 
She said kiss me fool I’m not a slut 
If the eyes are the windows to the soul 
Her soul’s somewhere in Mexico 
And slow down shut off the power 
This taste is getting sour 
I feel a sickness coming over me 

She said uh oh uh oh here they come 
Uh oh uh oh here they come 
Uh oh uh oh here they come 
Better run 
Better run 
Better run 

I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
She makes me happy 

I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
She makes me happy 

Crazy in the head 
Crazy in the bed 
I know that’s not a lie 

Crazy in the head 
Crazy in the bed 
I better make her mine 

I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
She makes me happy 

I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
I’m in love with a sociopath (hey!) 
She makes me happy

Video  from KTCL 93.3 in Denver with audience participation

YouTube Video

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And of course some funny photos...

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